I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
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A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
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I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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