Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
