hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
