he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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