Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
