All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
