I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
