She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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