Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
