This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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