I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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