One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
