I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
