she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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