I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
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Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
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He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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