Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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