Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
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