Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
