some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
