You're completely useless in the revolution.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
