I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
