You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Randomize
