i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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