If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize