if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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