Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize