Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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