The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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