just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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