i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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