You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
