bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
