Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
