Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I want to stick my p in your. b.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
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