Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
