you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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