Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
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there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
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Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
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