bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
false alarm, still single
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize