K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
