uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
