I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
