I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
