My nipple is on Facebook.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize