Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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