he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
where am i from again
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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