Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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