I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
