One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
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