Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
