Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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