I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just want nice things and good sex
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
