i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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