The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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