ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i dont even know how to be here
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
