So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
