Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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