Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
