I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
