im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Let's get the cat blown out
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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