So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
