pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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