Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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