Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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