Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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